Ridonculous Race Deluxe Episode 18 Ring Toss

Ridonculous Race Deluxe
Episode 18 Lord of the Ring Toss

Don (voiceover, clips of the last episode play): Last time on the Ridonculous Race, teams were split up and forced to cooperate with each other in the old halls of London's Windsor Castle. Noah and Emma finally forgave each other, and Rylee and Sabrina had some heart-to-heart, while Jo and Josee had some heartwarming fist-to-face moments. Aren't they adorable? In the end, the Victors were tricked into last place, and were eliminated and arrested in possibly the most violent Ridonculous Race elimination yet! (Cut to Don at the Chill Zone in the castle's garden) Who will be eliminated today? Will they leave with their head held high, or the moral down low? Keep watching the show! This is (zoom in on his face) the Ridonculous Race!

Don (at the starting line): We're back at the Windsor Castle in London, and yesterday's winners, Jekyll and Hyde and Brother and Sister, will grab today's first tips! (The four run past Don and to the Don Box, where they receive their tips)

Jekyll and Hyde (confessional)

Rylee: Tying for first was AWESOME! But, we aren't losing our lead. There's still a long road ahead of us, and we need every inch we can get!

Steven: Right, no more fooling around- except for when there's a good opportu-

Rylee (quickly): No. (Steven pouts)

Brother and Sister (confessional)

Alex: Yesterday was, um, "eventful" and weird.

Sabrina: I know... (miffed) I can't believe Don was allowed to do that. (Calmed) I'm just glad you're okay. (Alex blinks, then smacks himself)

Alex (shocked): This isn't a dream?!

Sabrina (confused): Why would it be? (Alex just gapes and babbles incomprehensively)

End Confessional

(Rylee and Alex collect their tips)

Rylee (reading his tip confusedly): Okay, we're flying to the Arctic Circle! (To himself) Weirdest statement I've ever said...

Sabrina (raising an eyebrow): We just go everywhere on this show, don't we? (Cut to a light blue background, pictures are displayed)

Don (voiceover): The Arctic Circle, home to the world's harshest climate, whitest animals and favorite story book characters! (Cut to a Cessna in the Arctic, Don is wearing a white fur coat) Teams must fly here, four or five teams per flight, to get their next tip! And they'll be chilled to the bone to find out there's another boomerang in play! (Pulls out a boomerang card) Find this attached to your tip, and you can make another team repeat the first challenge! Just our way of adding some (pretending to shiver) 'Oooh, that's cold!' to the cold! (The first two teams run by Noah and Owen)

Rylee: Good luck, guys!

Owen (calling back and waving to them): You too! (Turns to Noah) So, you and Emma worked things out?

Reality TV Pros (confessional)

Noah: It was awkward, but we managed to come to the agreement that it was everyone's fault. It's best that we all just forgive and forget and do our best in the race.

Owen: Yeah... but we will try the alliance again, right?

Noah (smiling): Buddy, we should NEVER stop trying. (Owen giggles)

Owen: Right on! (The two fist bump)

End Confessional

(Ryan and Stephanie run up to Carrie and a depressed-looking Devin)

Carrie: Oh, hi guys!

Ryan: Wassup? Need somebody to take off with? (Stephanie drags him aside)

Stephanie (snappy): Hey, no talking to the enemy!

Ryan: Woah, you mean Carrie? She's nice, unlike YOU. (Stephanie growls) You know, you need to lighten up. Maybe then we could start working together. (Walks off as Stephanie babbles helplessly)

Stephanie (disbelief): I need to lighten up?! ME?!

Best Friends (confessional)

Carrie: Y'know, Ryan is a pretty nice guy, and Stephanie has a lot of drive to get first place. Think we should form an alliance with them?

Devin (depressed): Alliances are just invitations to get stabbed in the back. You can never really know anyone. As soon as you think you do, WHAM! (Slaps his fist into his palm) They rip your heart from your chest and they eat it!!

Carrie (taken aback): Okay, so... is that a no?

Haters (confessional)

Ryan: Look, all I'm saying is they're good people! We could use some good people in our lives right now.

Stephanie: Nuh-uh. One of them is a roller coaster of emotions, and the other can be pretty naïve. Besides, I spent WAY too much time with Devin in that room. (Glares at Ryan) I'm sure YOU ensured that. (Ryan sighs angrily)

Ryan: You still think I purposefully took that long?! Woman, we were in a freakin' castle for crying out loud, who knows where who is?! (Stephanie rolls her eyes)

End Confessional

(The Cadets collect the next tip, Geoff and Brody run up next)

Brody: Wassup, MacArthur! (MacArthur runs off wordlessly) Hey?

Sanders (running next to MacArthur): Aren't you gonna say hey back?

MacArthur: I'm focusing on the race, amigo! Win first, nice later!

Police Cadets (confessional)

MacArthur: Nice is for participation ribbons, not million dollar prizes!

Sanders: You really sound like Jo today. Is it because she was eliminated?

MacArthur: Yeah, and it's all the Ice Dancer's fault! They're gonna PAY for that!

Ice Dancers (confessional)

Josee: Do we feel any regret tricking the Victors like that? Not at all. When you're a professional ice dancer, you either learn to play mind games or say "I used to be an ice dancer."

Jacques (smugly): Oui. If every other team is a pawn on the chessboard, then they certainly were a rook- a rook that needed to be removed, immediately!

Josee (evilly): And if THEY are the rooks, then WE are the king and queen! (They both laugh evilly)

End Confessional

(The teams line up at the airport in this order- Jekyll and Hyde, Brother and Sister, Haters, Surfer Dudes, Best Friends, Police Cadets, Reality TV Pros, Sisters and Ice Dancers)

Don (voiceover): All teams are now headed towards the heart of the Arctic Circle, where the ice is nearly as thick as the tension between our teams! Plane one carries the Haters, Jekyll and Hyde, Surfer Dudes and Brother and Sister, plane two carries the Police Cadets, Sisters, Reality TV Pros, Best Friends and Ice Dancers)

Owen (in his plane, looking around nervously): These planes are s-safe to fly to the Arctic, right, little buddy?

Noah (deadpan): Yeah, as long as we aren't in the 86% of planes that crash in the Arctic. (Owen begins to hyperventilate and crushes Noah into a hug, who gasps for air himself) I-I shouldn't have s-said that! (The first plane lands)

Don (voiceover): Plane number one, carrying Jekyll and Hyde, Brother and Sister, Surfer Dudes and Haters has made it to the Arctic Circle! (Rylee, who is wearing a white coat and mittens, grabs a tip. He then accidently drops it)

Rylee (nervously laughing): Ah, whoops. (Picks it back up just for it to slip out of his hands, Steven, who is also wearing a white coat, ear muffs and mittens, raises an eyebrow) Sorry, just let me grab it... (Picks it up again just for it to fall down, Steven glares) Man, I've got butter fingers today! J-just hang on! (Tries to pick it up and hold onto it... only for it to slip out of his hand) Uh, lemme try- (Steven bends down and picks it up, glaring at Rylee wordlessly) O-or you could do that.

Jekyll and Hyde (confessional)

Rylee (defensively as Rylee raises an eyebrow, deadpanned): Uh, it was so cold I couldn't feel it through the, uh, the mitts- which, by the way, don't have fingers so grabbing it was (losing confidence) almost... impossible. (Hangs his head in shame) I can't grab stuff when my hands are cold

Steven (sarcastically): Amazing. I haven't heard an excuse so dumb since the day I asked my English teacher what World War II had to do with writing an essay.

Rylee (ashamed): Shut up.

End Confessional

Alex (reading his tip)

Alex: It's a Random Botch! I was locked in that room in London, so I'll- (Sabrina snatches it from his hand)

Sabrina (simply): You were locked in that room, so I'll do the challenge. You need to take a break; all that stress could be bad for you!

Alex (confused): Um... okay?

Sabrina (reading the tip): Find a ring somewhere hidden in the snow, and toss one onto a narwhal! (Gasps with excitement) NARWHAL?! (Confused) What the heck is a narwhal again? (Alex shrugs, pan over to an hole in the ice, mounds of snow surrounding it. Don walks to a mound of snow)

Don: In this Botch or Watch, teams must find hoops hidden around this location- (grabs a yellow ring from the snow) And successfully toss it onto the tusk of a narwhal! Like so- (Tosses the ring onto a narwhal's tusk. Cut to some snowmobiles) Once they finish the task, teams must drive one of these snowmobiles East until they find the next Don Box! (Don drives a snowmobile up to the Don Box) This is the last chance for teams to use the boomerang to send a team back to repeat the first challenge! (Stephanie grabs a tip next)

Stephanie (showing off her boomerang): YES!

Haters (confessional)

Stephanie (waving her boomerang around): This is a miracle! A boomerang is literally a game changer! You could vault yourself into first place if you play it right, AND the team you use it on is practically GUARNTEED to go home!

Ryan: As long as we have it, we're the most powerful team in the game!

Stephanie (snappy): Uh, thank you, Captain Obvious.

Ryan (miffed): Okay, you know what? (Stands up and walks off) No. Nope, no no. Nonononononono... (Ryan searches through some snow, until he finds a ring)

Ryan: Got one! (Tosses at a narwhal, which quickly ducks back under water) Oops!

Stephanie (sighing angrily): We're gonna be here all DAY if you're gonna throw like that!

Ryan (defensively): It was my first try! (Rylee digs through some snow)

Rylee (holding one up victoriously): Got one! (It slips out of his hand, he quickly grabs it again. He takes a deep breath in, aims... then hardly throws it three inches. Rylee nervously laughs as Steven facepalms. Brody cheers gleefully as Geoff searches snow mounds)

Brody: Awesome searching, dude! You da man! (Geoff stands up as an eskimo pops out of the snow) Uh, you da man too! (High fives the eskimo)

Surfer Dudes (confessional)

Geoff: This is going HORRIBLE! I can't even FIND a ring!

Brody: No worries, compadre! Aw, I mean I'M usually the one letting us down; this is a nice change!

Geoff: Well, that's true. Huh, I guess I'm pulling a Brody! (Laughs as Brody pouts)

End Confessional

(Sabrina throws a ring in the water, only for the narwhal to move at the last second)

Sabrina (annoyed): Ugh, remind me to add narwhals to my list of things that annoy me.

Alex (sarcastically): Shall I put that at the number two spot, seeing as how I permanently rented out number one? (Sabrina raises an eyebrow)

Sabrina (confused): What? No way! You aren't even in the top fifty! (Alex blinks)

Alex: Wait, I'm not?

Sabrina: No! I mean, you can be a bit annoying sometimes, but you're my brother! I could never hate you that much! (Alex blinks... then shoves his head in the snow and screams, Sabrina steps back, a tad bit frightened) A-are you okay? (Alex pops back up with a skeptical look on his face)

Alex (accusingly): You're up to something, I just KNOW it!

Sabrina: What, no! I-I'm serious, you're not that annoying!

Alex: Nope, I do NOT believe it! It's one of your pranks! Just keep your mouth shut and find the darn rings! (Sabrina tries to talk) Nope! Not another word! (Begins to walk off) Nope, no, defiantly no...

Sabrina (weirded out): Que? (Ryan gets a ringer on a narwhal)

Ryan (excited): Yes! I put us into first place!

Stephanie (deadpan): Can we go now, or do you wanna stay and build a statue of yourself?

Haters (confessional)

Stephanie: Every time Ryan FINALLY manages to do something right, the WHOLE world has to drop everything so we can celebrate his "major achievement"!

Ryan: Y'know what?! You're a Joy Vampire! You (pretends to slurp through a straw) suck the joy right out of everything! If I had a time machine, I'd go back in time to our first date and SLAP myself! (Brody and the eskimo wait by the ice river)

Geoff (running up to them, a ring in hand): I FOUND A RING! (Throws it into the water)

Brody: Woah, dude, wait until you see a water unicorn! (Geoff facepalms)

Geoff: Oh, right, right. Sorry. (The Haters make their way to the next Don Box on the snowmobile)

Don (voiceover): As the Haters move on, and the others struggle, flight number two lands with the rest of the teams! (Carrie collects her tip)

Carrie: I got this one, homie!

Devin: Whatever. (Sighs loudly, Noah and Owen share an odd look)

Reality TV Pros (confessional)

Noah: When did Devin become so... mopey? That's my job!

Best Friends (confessional)

Carrie (Devin sulks in the background): It's a good thing I'm doing this Botch or Watch; I think Devin's reached stage four of breaking up with Shelly- rock bottom. (Devin flumps into the snow) Yeah. Stage four. (Teams search desperately through the snow mounds, MacArthur, Carrie, Noah, Emma and Josee all manage to find rings. They take aim and fire at the narwhals, each shot missing. Rylee tries to throw his ring overhead, but  it slips out of his hand behind his back, so he throws nothing. Geoff carries a big pile of rings, he tosses all of them at once, and each one misses the narwhals by a long shot. Sabrina manages to land a ringer)

Alex: Yes!
Sabrina: Alright! We could've been done much sooner if you had been throwing; you've always been better at ring toss. (Alex blinks)

Alex: Okay then... (The two walk off, Rylee attempts to throw another ring to no avail)

Rylee (frustrated): Gah, darn it! I can't even GRAB the darn thing, much less throw it! (Sighs in defeat) We're done for!

Steven (walking over): What?! C'mon man, you gotta keep trying! As long as there's a ring, there's a way! Keep at it! (Grins) There's SNOW way I'm gonna let you stop now! (Rylee just slumps over and trudges off, Steven just stares in shock) Nothing?

Steven (confessional)

Steven: See, Rylee hardly ever believes in the concept of "moral support", but the dude's having a tough time! He can't even THROW a ring for Pete's sake! (A ring smacks him in the head) OW! (Rubs his forehead in pain)

Rylee (off-screen): Sorry!

Steven (pained): Yeah... it's not a good day for any of us.

End Confessional

(The Haters speed though the icy fields)

Stephanie: Ugh, pull over and let me do this. You drive like an old lady.

Ryan (exasperated): Can you PLEASE stop insulting everything I do?!

Stephanie (mocking Ryan's voice): Can you PLEASE stop insulting everything I do?!

Ryan: REAL mature.

Stephanie: REAL mature.

Ryan (mocking Stephanie's voice): Pull over and let me drive!

Stephanie (offended): I do NOT sound like that!

Ryan: I do NOT sound like that!

Stephanie: STOP IT!

Ryan: STOP IT! (Stephanie roars loudly, Ryan mockingly roars too. Teams try and fail to throw rings on the narwhals)

Don (voiceover): Some teams are coming close, but close only counts in horseshoes and airborne viruses! (Noah finally gets a ringer)

Owen (excited): You ringed a narwhal!

Noah: Yay! 

Owen: Let's go! (They run off, Geoff attempts the ring toss again, the narwhal laughs at him. Geoff aims... and throws the ring at a cameraman. causes it to fizz out)

Brody and the eskimo (confessional)

Brody (Geoff digs through a mound of snow): Man, this is so intense! We WERE in first but now three teams are ahead of us! Aw, I wish we could trade places. The only thing worse than botching a botch is watching a botch.

End Confessional

(Rylee attempts to throw the ring again, it just flops down at his feet)

Rylee (nervous): C'mon, this should be easy! Why was I cursed with sensitive hands?! (Buries his face into his palms, Steven sighs)

Steven: Dude, c'mon, you gotta keep trying.

Rylee (hopelessly): Dude, don't you get it?! I CAN'T! I'm just like a cat in a bathtub- uncomfortable, out of my element, and not where I belong!

Steven: Well that doesn't mean you can give up!

Rylee: Dude, I've been throwing the same ring for the past forty-five minutes! It's impossible!

Brody (as Geoff readies himself for another go): Don't give up, Geoff! You can do this! (Geoff accidentally rings a baby seal instead)

Josee: Hm...

Ice Dancers (confessional)

Josee: There are only eight teams left to crush, with the power of my mind!

Jacques: Ding! Now serving: the Surfers!

End Confessional

Geoff (restlessly digging though snow): C'mon, c'mon...

Josee (feigning friendliness): Oh, hey, are you two still here? I thought your partner was the weakling on your team, but maybe not! (Geoff lowers his head in shame. Josee walks off to see Rylee trying and failing to throw a ring) Oh, this is just too good. (Walks over to him) Slipping up, I assume?

Rylee (glaring at her): Get lost, golden girl! I have enough problems already.

Josee (smugly): Oh, I can see that. I can also see that one of them is a low moral.

Rylee (skeptically): Meaning?

Josee: I don't even have to lift a finger to beat you, if you're beating yourself up so much. (Rylee tries to retort... only to drop his ring again, causing him to hang his head in shame. Josee walks off) Aideu! (Cackles wildly)

Rylee (confessional)

Rylee (depressed): She's right. Steven and I are just done for and it's all my fault. (Sighs sadly)

End Confessional

(The Haters arrive at the next Don Box)

Stephanie: Wait! This is our ONLY chance to use our boomerang!

Ryan: Uh, but no one is ahead of us; we're winning. Let's just go.

Stephanie: No! Let's wait for the next team to show up and send them back!

Ryan: That challenge was REALLY hard! Another team might not show up for HOURS!

Stephanie (teasingly): YOU did it. How hard could it be?

Ryan (offended): Hey! I got us into the lead! Which is more than YOU'VE ever done for this team! (Alex and Sabrina silently run past them and grab a tip)

Stephanie (gasping in offense): Are you KIDDING me?!

Sabrina (reading the tip): It's an All-In! There's only one dome to call home in the Arctic- molded together by tundra's glue, work together to build an igloo!

Don (over on a frozen pond): For this All-In challenge, teams need to work together to saw blocks of snow and assemble them into an igloo! (A female eskimo shoves blocks of ice together to create an igloo) Once they get an thumbs-up from this local, it's a footrace due East until they reach the Chill Zone! (Pan to the Zone, a snowman sits next to it) Where I'll be surrounded by as many portable heaters as the crew can provide! (Starts to shiver) Seriously, go find some heaters!

Ryan: Great! Now Brother and Sister are ahead of us! Way to blow our lead! Why can't you do something right for a change and USE the boomerang!

Stephanie (furious): I BOOMERANG RYAN!!

Ryan (shocked): WHAT?! (Stephanie grins madly) WE'RE ON THE SAME TEAM!

Brother and Sister (confessional)

Sabrina (stupidly grinning): Top ten dumbest relationships in history! (Alex, who is also stupidly grinning, pulls out ten flash cards) Number ten: Ryan and Stephanie! (Alex tosses a card away) They're also numbers one through NIIIIIIINE! (Alex tosses all the cards away)

End Confessional

Don (holding a book, walking up to the Haters): The rules don't say anything about being UNABLE to boomerang themselves, so I'll allow it. But since it's a Botch or Watch, this time Stephanie has to ring the narwhal! (Ryan smirks at her)

Stephanie (sarcastically): Great! Now I can show Ryan how stupid EASY it is to put a hoop on a giant fish. (Hops on the snowmobile)

Ryan (angrily getting on the snowmobile): You are such a- (Stephanie drives off, which cause Ryan to be bucked off, he lands in the snow and pops back up, angrily)

Sabrina (to Don): Is it possible that we can VOTE a team out tonight? Because I've got the perfect candidates in mind.

Don: Trust me, if it were up to me half of you wouldn't even BE here. (Turns to the camera) I mean, great! I can't wait to watch that! When we return on (zoom in on his face) the Ridonculous Race!

Commercial Break

(Narwhals... peaceful aquatic mammals, living in their natural habitat of the Arctic Circle... being used as targets for competitors who can't aim worth a damn. Or, more specifically, Geoff. Brody sobs miserably as Geoff fails toss after toss)

Brody (miserable): It's okay dude! You're doing... g-great! (Geoff frowns)

Surfer Dudes (confessional)

Geoff (depressed. No, I'm serious): This was a total low point for me and the Brodster. I've never disappointed him before. (Hangs his head in shame)

Brody: Aw, bro...

Geoff: And I never wanna do it again.

Jekyll and Hyde (confessional)

Steven (Rylee slumps over in defeat): C'mon, man. You NEVER get down like this, not even when you let yourself down!

Rylee (miserable): It's not me who I'm letting down. It's YOU. You need a good partner right now, and you're stuck with me; a useless jerk who can't even throw a darn ring in the cold. I'm worthless to you, man.

Steven (supportive): No way dude, you're doing fine! Just get the aim down... and the strength... and hopefully the grip, and you're gonna do great! In fact, you're doing great already! (Rylee stands up and looks at him hopelessly)

Rylee: Dude, I know you're just saying that. Be honest with me. (Trudges off, Steven just sighs)

End Confessional

(Geoff and Rylee both slump down into mounds of snow)

Geoff: Life got you down too, bro?

Rylee: Yep. Never thought YOU'D be this down of all people.

Geoff: I've had my days... (the two sigh) Man, I've just been pulling a Tyler today.

Rylee (confused): A what?

Geoff: A Tyler. Basically it means you think you've got everything in the bag, but then- (mimics an explosion)

Rylee (still unsure): Ah. How silly of me. I've been feeling the same way. Can't grab stuff when my hands get cold, for some dumb reason.

Geoff: Ooh, that's rough. (Geoff sighs) I've just been having it rough. I've been letting my bro down ever since we got to this place.

Rylee: Yeah... just a couple of letdowns, are we? (They both sigh in unison. Cut to Alex and Sabrina building an igloo, Sabrina starts cutting through the ice with a saw as Alex stacks some blocks)

Sabrina (worried): Uh, Alex? Are you okay today?

Alex: I was about to ask the same thing to you. Why have you been so nice to me today?

Sabrina: Why wouldn't I be? You're my older brother, we're supposed to support each other, right?

Alex: Yeah but... that's never been the case with you. You've always been, I dunno, a little closed off?

Sabrina: Well, in the past I was, but I'm a new person. I wanna be the type of person who helps out her family, not leave them in a ditch. (Alex raises an eyebrow)

Alex (suspicious): Something's definitely happened yesterday.

Sabrina: Nothing big, just a talk that made me realize some things. (Goes back to work, Alex goes back to work as well, but still stares at her suspiciously. Cut to Geoff, attempting the ring toss again, he tosses the ring confidently... only for it to get caught on Brody's neck. Brody begins to sob again. Rylee tosses his ring... and it smacks a narwhal in the face. It rubs it's face and glares at Rylee, who just nervously smiles and waves in response. A ring lands on a narwhal, Jacques and Josee run on-screen to reveal that they threw it)

Josee: Yes! (Tauntingly to Rylee and Geoff as they run by them) Oh, hey, good luck! I hope you don't lose your best friends because you're so bad at this! (They hop on a snowmobile and drive off)

Ice Dancers (confessional)

Josee: At the Mind Game Olympics, I would most DEFINITLEY take the gold.

End Confessional

(A depressed Geoff walks up to a miserable Brody)

Geoff (breaking into tears): Dude, I'm sorry if I ever made you feel bad about botching a challenge!

Brody (indifferent): And I'm sorry if I ever make you feel like you're letting me down, 'cause you aren't! No, you couldn't!

Geoff (crying with joy): Aw, man! Who cares about the ring toss! (Throws his ring away) Now we gotta bro-hug! (the two wrap each other in a hug, a narwhal chitters off-screen, Brody gasps with joy)

Brody (rejoiced): Dude, look! YOU RINGED IT! (Pan over to the narwhal to reveal that Geoff has indeed ringed a narwhal)

Geoff: Sweet! (Suddenly another ring lands on the narwhal)

Carrie: Yes! (Carrie and a depressed Devin run by the Surfers, they chase after them)

Don (voiceover): As more teams complete the first challenge, the Haters head back to complete it AGAIN! (The Haters drive by the Ice Dancers, who stop and look at them in confusion)

Ice Dancers (confessional)

Jacques: I guess Brother and Sister boomeranged Ryan and Stephanie.

Josee (slightly impressed): Ah, I'm IMPRESSED!

End Confessional

(Carrie and Devin drive through the frozen tundra)

Carrie: Hey, Devin, maybe next challenge you can help me out a bit?

Devin: Helplessness is a sign of depression.

Carrie (confessional)

Carrie: Wow. Devin's rock bottom must be in a box in a hole at the base of the Grand Canyon. (Devin flops off his snowmobile)

End Confessional

Geoff (relieved): You, know, Brody? We went from first place to sixth on MY watch! But I'm gonna make up for that starting right-

Brody (pointing ahead): Dude, look out! (Pan out to reveal that the Surfers are barreling straight towards the baby seal Geoff ringed, it barks in surprise as Geoff and Brody scream. Geoff instinctively swerves left... and onto a ramp that launches the Dudes into the air. They scream as the sail through the sky, until they crash back down and get buried under a mountain of snow)

Surfer Dudes (confessional)

Geoff: Uh, for the record, that did NOT go the way I thought it would.

End Confessional

(Rylee and Steven remain at the pond)

Rylee: Dude, we're gonna be last. (Sighs) It's all my fault... You should probably get ready to go home. (Sits in depression for a second, Steven just stares)

Steven (sternly): No.

Rylee (confused): What?

Steven: You heard me. Get up. (Drags Rylee up) You told me to be honest, so here I am- You're not a worthless lard, you aren't a useless drag, what you are is my friend and it's killing me to see you this way. You didn't give up in London, you didn't give up in Iceland, not in Romania, not in Hawaii, not even in Maori! Everywhere we've been, you didn't give up on me, or yourself or the competition! You CAN ring a narwhal, and you CAN overcome this race- you just gotta pick yourself up and believe in yourself! (Rylee looks down in shame... but then straightens up)

Rylee (unsure): You think so? (Steven grins)

Steven: Just say it to yourself over again- I'm the boss!

Rylee: I'm not gonna say that.

Steven (ignoring him): Who's the boss? (Rylee raises an eyebrow) Who's the boss?

Rylee (muttering): I'm the boss.

Steven: Who's the boss?

Rylee (louder): I'm the boss.

Steven: Who's the boss?

Rylee (More energetic): I'm the boss!

Steven: Who's the boss?!

Rylee (shouting with confidence): I'M THE BOSS! (Steven cheers)

Steven: NOW GO GET 'EM! (Rylee stares intensely at a narwhal, he takes aim and fires... and it lands on a narwhal! Rylee and Steven hug and cheer) GREAT! Now, let's go! (They run off)

Jekyll and Hyde (confessional)

Rylee: I may be the boss, but YOU are definitely the best worker. Now, let's do this!

Steven (feigning sassiness): Uh, you ain't BOSSING me around! (Rylee just stares at him) No?

Rylee (grinning but rolling his eyes): Whatever.

End Confessional

(Noah and Owen make ice blocks, Noah struggles to pick up on ice block... but then flops back down, causing the ice to revert back into snow)

Noah (tired): Ugh, can't we just make a mound of snow and hollow it out?

Reality TV Pros (confessional)

Noah: See, DAWN was more of the "delicate" and "fluffy" one of us three. I'm good at logistics, math and most educational subjects-

Owen (optimistically): And I'm good for keeping everyone's moral up! (Toots) Oops!

Noah (covering his nose): Ugh, and keeping everyone's life expectancy low as well!

End Confessional

(Sanders tries the ring toss as well but misses. She sighs as MacArthur snorts)

MacArthur: Sanders, if you take any longer I'm gonna have to charge you overtime. Seriously, hurry up! (Sanders hustles off to get another ring as the Haters pull up)

Ryan: See? There's only one team left! You just put our necks on the choppin' block!

Stephanie: Stay outta my way. I'm gonna show you how quickly this challenge can be done by someone with skills!

(More teams get to work on the igloos, including the Ice Dancers and Best Friends. Geoff struggles to pull himself out of the sinkhole, only for the baby seal, who is pissed, to attack him and drag him back under. The Sisters and Jekyll and Hyde arrive at the work area next, they teams all craft and stack blocks upon blocks to make their igloo. Sanders shovels through some snow with her hands)

MacArthur: That's it, partner! You show that snow who's boss!

Ryan (observing this): The Cadets are a good team! And even THEY are having a hard time with the ring toss!

Stephanie: Oh, please, this is child's play! All I need is one ring. (Kicks some snow away to reveal a ring, she kicks it into the air and catches it, she takes aim at a narwhal and... hardly throws it four feet)

Ryan: You we saying?

Stephanie: Pfft, my aim was PERFECT. The wind took if off course.

Brother and Sister (confessional)

Sabrina: You know your team's screwed when you literally knock yourselves from first to last. (Wraps an arm around Alex) Good thing we changed our ways before it happened to us, right bro? (Alex blinks)

Alex (taken aback): Uh, yeah, err sorry. I'm still getting used to the, uh, new you? (Shrugs desperately)

Best Friends (confessional)

Carrie: What would it take to want to boomerang your own team?! (Facepalms) Argh, this is what I told Ryan NOT to do!

Devin (depressed): Maybe they realized it's all meaningless because death is inevitable.

Carrie (slightly freaked): Did you have a conversation with Ennui and Crimson recently?

End Confessional

(Alex and Sabrina are almost finished with their igloo)

Sabrina: Okay, we just need a few more blocks! (She starts cutting some more ice blocks as Alex stacks them, Alex's back cracks as he tries to lift an ice block)

Alex (pained): OW! There goes my back- OW!

Sabrina (running over): Whoa, let me help! (Grabs him and tightly hugs him, several cracks are heard, Alex screams in pain)

Alex (pained and angry): What're you, crazy?! That-that... (suddenly realizes his back doesn't hurt anymore) Huh! W-where'd you learn to do that?

Sabrina: You, silly. You cracked my back for me after I spent an hour hunched over playing video games!

Alex: Huh. I guess I did. (Carrie and Devin walk past them)

Carrie: Okay, this is a great place to set up! (Devin trudges after her)

Devin (deadpan to Sabrina): Hey.

Sabrina: 'Sup. You look like you're having fun.

Carrie (ignoring her): I'm sorry, did you say 'hey' or 'here'?

Devin: Both.

Carrie: Okay... (Owen and Noah make ice blocks rapidly)

Owen (giggling): At this rate we'll be done in no time! (Emma stacks another block at her igloo)

Emma (waving to Owen and Noah): Hey guys!

Noah (waving back): Hi Emma! (Rylee and Steven run past them)

Steven: Good evening!

Owen (waving to him): Hi guys!

Kitty (waving to them as well): Wassup! (Steven and Rylee get to an empty spot and start digging through the ice)

Rylee: We need to hang out with them more often again.

Steven: Agreed. (Cut to the pond)

Ryan: Go ahead genius! Show me how it's done! (Stephanie tosses another ring... only for it to land in the water)

Stephanie: Way to yell in my ear and ruin my shot! Are you trying to make us lose?

Ryan: Are you really asking me that?! (The two snarl at each other)

Don (voiceover): While the Haters and the Police Cadets fight to get out of last place, first place is still up for grabs, as all the other teams are now working on the igloo challenge. (Jacques and Josee notice the Surfers working furiously)

Ice Dancers (confessional)

Jacques: The tension seed we planted has sprouted!

Josee: Now it's time to make it go KABLOOOOOOM!

End Confessional

Josee (whispering to Geoff): Listen, you need to pick it up. Brody told Jaq that you've been dragging him down. (Geoff gasps)

Geoff: Is he upset about the snowmobile thing too?! (Josee nods)

Josee: VERY. (Slips off)

Geoff (confessional)

Geoff (as he talks, Brody stacks blocks in the background): Why wouldn't Brody tell me he was upset with me? Unless he's REALLY upset with me... Aw, man! I gotta kick it into overdrive!

End Confessional

(Geoff begins to rapidly stack blocks, one after another)

Brody: Whoa, whoa! Slow and steady, dude!

Geoff (determined): No! We're too far behind! (Puts the last block into place... only for the entire igloo to collapse. 

Brody (exasperated): Dude...

Commercial Break

(Stephanie tries to throw another ring)

Ryan (sighing): Thirty-sixth time is the charm...

Stephanie: You could be a LITTLE more supportive, 'cause you're the one who frustrated me into boomeranging us.

Ryan: If we're sent home today, I'm suing you for half a million dollars. (Stephanie laughs at him)

Stephanie: Good luck with that, because I'm gonna score- (Sanders rings a narwhal, much to the Haters' surprise)

MacArthur: Booyeah, partner! (Scoop Sanders up and starts jumping around) Not in last place! Not in last place! Not in- (The ice underneath her suddenly cracks off into the pond, they slowly float down the river)

Don (voiceover): As the Cadets float away, the teams ahead of them continue to work away. (Devin pops up from his igloo as Sabrina walks by him and Carrie)

Devin (to Sabrina): Wanna form an alliance?

Sabrina and Carrie (shocked): What?!

Sabrina (confessional)

Sabrina: I have nothing against Carrie or Devin, but considering Devin has the edginess of a scimitar right now, I'd say Carrie's got enough on her plate. Pass.

End Confessional

Sabrina: Uh, pass. But some other time, maybe? (Scoots off)

Devin (deadpan): Whatever.

Carrie (confessional)

Carrie (relieved): Phew! That was close. Not that I have anything against Sabrina or Alex, but I don't think Devin's head is on straight yet.

End Confessional

(Geoff and Brody somberly put their igloo back together)

Geoff (miserable): Oh, man... I don't wanna be the reason we get sent home...

Brody (practically sobbing): It's not your fault, it's mine!

Geoff: Maybe it's nobody's fault, bro.

Brody: Really?

Geoff: Yeah! Maybe we just gotta chill on the stress, and finish this igloo-thing! We're not faulters, we're Surfers, dude!

Brody: Yeah! (Sobs with joy) We can DO this! (Cut to later on, Brody sobs happily as they finish up the igloo, Josee gasps)

Ice Dancers (confessional)

Josee: I can't believe how badly that backfired! (Jacques facepalms as Josee growls in rage)

End Confessional

(Josee continues to growl until Rylee walks up to them, coughing into his fist)

Rylee: Uh, I'm not interrupting anything, am I? (Josee grins)

Josee (sly): Oh, of course not! (Checks her fingernails for dirt) I hope your partner isn't as disappointed-

Rylee (interrupting): Yeah, about that. I gotta thank you guys. (The Dancers' jaws drop)

Josee (stuttering): Wait, what?

Rylee (as he talks, Josee's eye twitches): Yeah, you heard me. If it weren't for you two, I wouldn't have found the strength within myself to keep going. I owe it to you guys. (Walks off) Have a good race!

Ice Dancers (confessional)

(Josee screams off-screen and throws things across the confessional room, Jacques just stares at the camera, deadpanned)

Jekyll and Hyde (confessional)

Rylee (he and Steven are slyly smirking): Who's playing mind games now? (They high five)

End Confessional

(Stephanie tries to throw another ring, this time it lands on a narwhal's tusk)

Stephanie: YES!

Ryan: Sure, but that doesn't make up for-

Stephanie (running off): Yes, I know, I boomeranged us! (Hops on the snowmobile) Stop living in the past! (Drives off without him)

Ryan (calling after her): In the past, I dated YOU, so I have no plans to ever live there again! (Cut to the Cadets flowing down the river)

MacArthur: The temperature of the river MIGHT kill us, but we've got no choice! You go first! (Sanders glares at her) What? Too cold? (Suddenly a narwhal drives its horn into the ice float, it pushes them along the river)

Sanders (impressed): Whoa!
MacArthur: Sweet!

Police Cadets (confessional)

MacArthur: I used to hate all mammals. But this narwhal is pretty cool.

Sanders: Uh, we're mammals.

MacArthur: I know.

End Confessional

(The local gives a thumbs up to the Surfer's igloo)

Brody: WOO-HOO-HOOOO! We did it, man! (The two run off, whooping and cheering, as Josee finishes her igloo)

Josee (to the local): Hey, hey, you! We're done! (She walks past them and looks at Alex and Sabrina's finished igloo instead, she gives them the thumbs up, they cheer and hug)

Alex: Great!
Sabrina: Yes! (They run off, Josee's eye twitches)

Josee: HEEEEEEEY! (The local finally notices them, she barely gives them a thumbs up before Jacques tramples her into the snow, she emerges glaring at them. The three teams race neck and neck... and neck. It comes close between the three until... the Surfers arrive at the Chill Zone first!)

Don: Wow, first place! (Brody sobs with joy) All I said was first place! First place is GOOD! What's his problem?!

Geoff: Sometimes a dude's just gotta cry, Don. (Brody pulls Geoff and Don into an uncomfortable hug)

Don: Help! A little help here?!

Surfer Dude (confessional)

Geoff: We know that the Ice Dancers were messing with our brains.

Brody: That's below the belt guys, and you know what's below the belt?

Geoff (quickly): Socks! Socks reek, yo! We don't CARE what the other teams do. We're gonna play fair right to the end!

Brody: We'll win the million, still be best buds and do it OUR way!

Geoff: Fist bump!

Geoff and Brody (as they fist bump): Boom!

End Confessional

(Sabrina and Alex arrive next)

Don: Brother and Sister, second place! (The two cheer and hug)

Alex (quickly realizing what he's doing): Wait, you and I are hugging and you don't have a problem with it?

Sabrina (still hugging him): Of course not. Do you?

Alex: Well, maybe at first, but now? Not at all. (The local approves the Sisters' igloo)

Emma: Wow, we finished before Noah and Owen and Steven and Rylee. Should we stick around?

Noah (off-screen): No, you guys get going! We'll be fine!

Emma (calling back): Well, I mean, if you're almost done than- WAUGH! (Kitty drags her off-screen. Jacques and Josee arrive at the carpet next)

Don: Third place is pretty darn good! (Josee stomps over to the snowman)

Josee (frustrated): THIS is what I think of second place! (She chomps off the carrot nose, punches the head off and snaps the twig arms)

Don (mortified): Stop, you're hurting Chilly Billy! (Josee storms off to reveal that Chilly Billy is just a mound of snow surrounded by coal, twigs and carrot bits, Don collapses to his knees) NOO!!! (Cries out to the sky) BILLLYYYYYY!!!! (Sobs hopelessly)

Ice Dancers (confessional)

Josee (spitefully): The next team we choose to destroy won't be so lucky!

End Confessional

(Stephanie pulls up to the igloo station, Ryan walking behind her, his entire upper torso is a giant snowball)

Stephanie: We're not the last team here, so stop whining and start building! (Ryan breaks out of his snowball)

Don (voiceover, the Best Friends, Reality TV Pros and Jekyll and Hyde get the thumbs up): As more and more teams finally get the thumbs up, the last place Cadets finally arrive to start the igloo challenge.

Sanders: I'll stack! You grab the saw and make me blocks until I say stop!

MacArthur: On it! (Starts cutting into the ice)

Police Cadets (confessional)

MacArthur: We have one advantage over the Haters: we're a team that can work together!

Sanders: Thanks for not mentioning I put us in jeopardy by messing up the ring toss thing.

MacArthur: Eh, I figured it went without saying. (Sanders frowns at her)

Don (voiceover): 4) Sisters, 5) Reality TV Pros, 6) Jekyll and Hyde, 7) Best Friends! (Ryan stacks another block on his igloo, it doesn't fit with the rest perfectly)

Stephanie: It doesn't fit! (Grabs it and throws it at Ryan's head) Stop wasting time! (Ryan growls angrily)

Ryan: We'd be finished already if ya hadn't boomer-

Stephanie: Are you STILL talking about that?! (Growls in anger) Ancient history!

Ryan: We don't finish this igloo, WE'LL be ancient history!

Haters (confessional)

Ryan: If we end up being eliminated after everything that happened, the fighting, the break-up, the boomerang, I'm not sure our relationship will survive it!

Stephanie: I know.

End Confessional

Don (voiceover): The Police Cadets and the Haters are facing possible elimination! The pressure is on!

Sanders (reaching out): Block!

MacArthur (handing her a block): Block!

Sanders (setting it into place): Placing!

MacArthur (sawing a new block out): Sawing! (They do this rapidly, like a well oiled machine)

Stephanie (snappy): You need to cut faster!

Ryan (snappy): I'm cutting as fast as I can!

Stephanie: Put those perfectly sculpted muscles of yours to work!

Ryan: Stop yelling your beautiful, flawless face off at me! (Holds up a block) Here!

Stephanie: Thanks! (Grabs it) We need only three more blocks to finish the baby's room! (Ryan's eyes widen, but he doesn't say anything. The teams furiously work until...)

Police Cadets and Haters: DONE! (The local gives them both a thumbs up, they run off)

Don (voiceover): To speed things up, and because I'm FREEZING, the last two teams can ride their snowmobiles to the Chill Zone! (The teams drive off, the eskimo from earlier holds up a daisy to the local, who tackles him and starts kissing him. The two teams race neck and neck for not-last-place, they keep bumping into each other until they realize they're charging at a giant mound of snow, they plow right through it... and all four teams get stuck in a giant snowball, which rolls downhill to the Chill Zone. Don screams in panic as he sees the abomination barrel at him, he runs off as the snowball stops short of the Carpet of Completion. It seems as though no one is inside... until MacArthur and Sanders pop out and onto the Carpet!)

Don (walking back to them): Cadets, you're eighth!

MacArthur (weakly): Woohoo... (Stephanie and Ryan poke their heads out of the snowball)

Don: The way that race ended in a messy heap of pain is rather symbolic of your relationship! (Ryan and Stephanie glare at each other) Ryan. Stephanie. You're the last team to arrive. Sending you home is... exactly what I'd do if this WERE an elimination round, but it's not! You're safe! (They both sigh in relief)

Sabrina (off-screen): GOSH DARN IT!

Haters (confessional)

Ryan (relieved): I'm so happy right now. I wasn't ready to go home. I... still have some feelings for Stephanie.

Stephanie: I also have feelings for Ryan. And, we ARE a good team, it was this competition that broke us up.

Ryan: Totally! If we went someplace where there was no stress, hardships, or challenges, I think we'd be happy.

Stephanie: And together forever.

Ryan: I forgive you for boomeranging us.

Stephanie: Forgive ME?! Do you KNOW how many times you've gotten us eliminated?

Ryan: EVEN if that we're true, at least I never hurt our team ON PURPOSE!

Stephanie: No, you just hurt us by being bad at everything!

Ryan: Ugh, you're impossible! (Walks off)

Don: The hate is back, next time on (zoom in on his face) the Ridonculous Race!

End Credits